To Burn...

Knit a pair of socks for a guy I was dating for his birthday. The evening prior to his birthday I caught him in the bathroom of a gay bar making out with another guy. Obviously, he's not getting the socks. Since they're too big for me I feel the best course of metaphoric action would be to torch the lovely things and send him and his memory off into ash. Sad to see a grand set of alpaca wonders set aflame....Alas, there can't be any recourse. The sight of those socks just pisses me off.


Parrot's picture

I can understand your feelings, but as you say, they are alpaca and well made . . . make the best of the situation and donate them to someone that can use them on these cold nights . . . at least something positive can come out of this.


Gregory Patrick's picture

(Sigh). Thanks for putting things into true perspective, man. Cheers.

teejtc's picture

Were they superwash? Otherwise a TINY bit of felting would work them down to your size. Sweet justice -- beautiful socks... and all yours!

Just an idea.

Grace and peace,

TomH's picture

Or you could give then to some homeless person -- at least you know they'll be put to good use. And they won't be around to remind you of ... that other guy!

I agree, burning them would be a waste...and aren't you glad you saw that BEFORE you gave him the socks! Seriously, that sucks. I wish you better in the new year coming.


MasonM's picture

I like the idea of giving them to a homeless person who would really appreciate them.


Linux: because a PC is a terrible thing to waste


Linux: because a PC is a terrible thing to waste

BuduR's picture

Sorry to hear Gregory, I hope you decide to give them to someone that can not only use them, but truely appreciate them. *hugs*

MWK's Token Estrogen-American

yochencho's picture

Did he wear them? if so, BURN THEM! And hope that he feels the fire. But if he didn't wear them, i would keep them.

SKHolt's picture

Another option is to unravel them and letting things go with each stitch that is unraveled. Sit the yarn aside until it has a new reason to be knitted.

Stephen450's picture

I agree with the donation plan-- that's where all my knitted objects end up, and I feel like I get the better end of the deal.

rjcb3's picture

IMO, yeah, I agree with the others that donation is probably a much better option...

...all that hard work...

...and all that alpaca...

...and if you still want (need) to burn something, print out a picture of him and burn IT.


Darrel's picture

Awww... *hugs* Donating them to a homeless person is a nice idea... You could also expand on the idea of unraveling them, but then sneak up behind him and choke the infidelity out of him with the yarn. I'm sure the alpaca would snap before anything that would lead to charges being filed could occur... ;)

MasonM's picture



Linux: because a PC is a terrible thing to waste


Linux: because a PC is a terrible thing to waste

scenter's picture

If it did go too far...would it be ruled as alpacacide?

As I'm reading this I noticed that the graphic above the Shout Box is a picture of a book titled Never Knit Your Man a Sweater - Until You Have the Ring.

It just struck me as funny and strangely appropriate.

Sorry to hear about what happened. Still it'd be a shame for all that work to go to waste.

MMario's picture

luckily (or maybe not, depending on your mood) alpaca is not a metaphoric (or even a metamorphic) fiber. Nay, alpaca is a decadant fiber, a sybaritic fiber, long on luxery, short on metaphor.

donating to a good cause, shrinking to fit, even casting in bronze and making them into a pair of knitting nunchuks would be a much more fitting end then to toss them on the pyre of *his* stupidity.

MMario - ambiguity is cultivated, it doesn't happen in a vacuum!

MMario - I'm not divorced from reality - we're having a trial separation

RareSteek's picture

What would be poetic revenge and still not waste the socks? hmmmm. How about donating the socks to someone along with a picture of the faithless one, with the proviso that said picture is to be placed in the shoe of the sock recipient the first day they are worn? Socks not wasted, slut's face rubbed in them, what could be better?


BuduR's picture

I like how you think :)

MWK's Token Estrogen-American

Thor's picture

WHAT SIZE SOCKS? I love hand knitted items!! I'd pay good hard cash for a warm pair of Size 13's...!!!

Kilted Knitter's picture

Donate or Felt?
Donate or Felt that is the question. Only you can answere that question. If it were me, I would put them in some hot water and see if the socks were to shrink, especially after all the love and hard work put into them. You love yourself don't you? Well then keep them for your self and move on. Sorry this thing happened so close to the Holidays, better now than later....Barry The Kilted Knitter