KAL Boxers = Bummed

Ok, so the title has no relation to the boxers KAL or knitting other than the fact that I seek avoidance of the fact that a friend of mine has died unexpectedly. I have no real way of expressing that loss, other than the hole that I feel from his absence. No random calls to come over for a dinner that he has cooked, which is way too much for him and his family. No random calls for help with a computer question.

This is the first real loss, as an adult, of a friend that I have known for more than a few years, and I'm not sure what it means or where it leads.

My partner and I just got back from the funeral, lovely, and the after funeral repast/visit, so I've had a bit too drink and a bit maudlin - sorry about that.

So I guess this is a free thread for people to share their thoughts on the loss of a friend and it's back to the needles for me.

Thanks - Joe


Kenny's picture

Oh, I'm so sorry. I hope the boxers weren't for him. Think knitting thoughts..... think knitting thoughts.

Tallguy's picture

There is nothing I can say to help make this easier. You just have to remember the good times (and you will for a long time), and how fortunate you were to know him. It is still a loss, and will take a long time until you can get on with life without him. That hole will never heal, but you will learn to live with it.

In the meantime, pick up those needles and get them clicking. I'm sure that's what he would want you to do. Appreciate all those that are here with you now. And remember that we are here too.

Thepook's picture

No reason to be sorry, losing someone is never easy. I've lost my share and then some it seems, so I kind of understand. Knitting helps. Counting stitches keeps the mind busy. Take care, let me know if I can help.

chipsir's picture

I am feeling very sad with your loss. We fast become a close knit (no pun intended) family here and I for one can feel the pain of others, you are in my thoughts and yes things will get better or at least things will be different. I agree that knitting is a great healer and mind occupier. So knit up something special in honour of your dear friend.
Big cyber hugzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Chris Vandenburg's picture

Buck up Buckeroo!

I'm not going to say the words, "I'm sorry for your loss". Not that I don't feel that way and not that those who do say them are being insincere in any way, shape or form. I will say that those of us around here that do write that to you are very, very much sincere in their condolances.

What I will say is that your friend is a very lucky person to have people as yourself, and others, who will remember him for what he is and who he was.

Joe, I should only hope for that sort of immortality.

You're a great guy,


"If a man has cream at home in the refrigerator he won't go out looking for 2% butterfat"
............Erma Bombeck

Tom Hart's picture

I don’t know what happens when people die
Can’t seem to grasp it as hard as I try
It’s like a song that I can hear playing right in my ear
That I can’t sing
I can’t help listening...

--Jackson Browne “For a Dancer”

Don’t know what to say, Joe. I lost my cousin 11 months ago. I took care of him the last two months of his life. I realized after he was gone that he was my best friend. It’s a drag to lose someone like that. I’m not entirely sure I’ve lost him though. I’ll find out for sure one day, I guess.

TheKnittingMill's picture

Joe, my heart is with you! I'm sorry for your loss...


Joe Moore's picture

Thanks for your responses! Reading those and making the post help. It's a new day and a new perspective.


kylewilliam's picture

So sorry for your loss - death of those we care for is difficult (scary, even)... and I don't know why it is... whether it's the selfish part of us that doesn't want to be left alone, or some other part that's terrified about what happens after we pass away...

Whatever it is, we're all here for you and are sending comfort and good thoughts your way. The most important thing (for me) to remember when someone I know has passed is all the good times we shared - the moments we had because we knew each other always trump the feelings of loss of those moments we might have had....

we're all here if/when you need us!



Bill's picture

...years ago I read that as we get older we worry that we'll be forgotten.
I know my children and some of my students will remember me...
But at my age I realize that with luck I may live another twenty years...that's not very many years...and I certainly have a yarn stash that will last that long...I find myself thinking of friends that are gone and remembering wonderful times and conversations. Friends and love are the important thing in life, whether present or just memories...

Iacobvs's picture

Good for you, Joe for sharing your grief and mouring with us. I am happy you know that this group will be able to hear that and be with you. I can only offer you the words I heard that touched my heart years ago, "Sorrow is nothing more than the pain we feel when our love fights within us for the right to continue and even grow into new dimensions." Honor your grief and you continue to love your friend.

Joe-in Wyoming's picture

OH, Joe - I feel for you. As others said, remember the good things and be patient with yourself. It only shows your loving, human side to mourn the loss of a loved one. Take care -- Books, knitting, cats, fountain pens...Life is Good.

Books, knitting, cats, fountain pens...Life is Good.