Stupid Mother F&*kers

I had an okay day today flying back home from Houston. I was up front in first class; so, I had lots of room and free booze. Unfortunately, I had to take three flights to get back home, Houston to Dallas, Dallas to Denver and Denver to Portland. The latter flight was the longest. I settled in with my gin and tonic and started knitting. I totally freaked out the old guy next to me but what the f*&k, who cares. When we landed in Portland, I raced to the bathroom. There I was, dick in hand, relieving myself when my seat mate and his two buddies step up to the urinal next to me. One of them says "Did you see the guy knitting next to me?" and they all start laughing. Well, I'm no pussy cowboy. I spoke up. "That was me!" There they stood, dicks in hand saying nothing. Then I said, "Issues?" The old guy next to me said, "No issues here." It was amazing how quiet that bathroom got. I went and washed my hands; then stood there watching them wash theirs. They didn't say a word. Next, I went to get my luggage and stood an the bottom of the escalator and watched them come down. They didn't look at me or even say a word. They beat it to the closest door. I regret not telling them that I used to break horses for a living and that I can do a hundred push-ups..."would you like to step outside?"
Some how, I don't think they will think it's so funny next time.

Stupid Mother F&*kers


MMario's picture

what losers.

MMario - I'm not divorced from reality - we're having a trial separation

knit4brains's picture doubt about ROCK!

michaelpthompson's picture

Oh you knitting cowboy stud you!

"All knitting is just one stitch at a time."

Tallguy's picture

That's the way to do it -- one person at a time! Even if you have to beat them up to do it! LOL Good for you -- perhaps they have learned a lesson not to judge so quickly. Poor sods -- they are jealous that they can't do it. Maybe you should also give them a knitting lesson?

Joe-in Wyoming's picture

Have to agree with MMario - what losers. Masculinity has nothing to do with knitting but in being a caring and compassionate human being. Here's hoping they learned a valuable lesson. -- Books, knitting, cats, fountain pens...Life is Good.

Books, knitting, cats, fountain pens...Life is Good.

VTandPTguy's picture

TERRIFIC response. GREAT story. Gotta keep "issues?" at the tip of my tongue.

VillageKnittiot's picture

can we get back to the part where everyone was standing around with their dicks in their hands?

YarnGuy716's picture

Sounds like they were trying to make up for their own "short comings"

steve kadel's picture

i wanna travel with you. oh, that's right. i will. soon. yay

i picked a terrible day to give up sniffing glue

we put birds on things

Kenny's picture

SEE!!!!! That's why I don't knit in public, especially on a Houston flight.... especially when I LIVE in HOUSTON. I'm a wuss..... :*(

vsidart's picture

I worship you, Geoff.

RednVA2's picture

Sounds like they are too bone-headed to realize that you don't piss off someone knitting needles, especially when
vulnerable, like standing there, dick in hand. LOL. Would have loved to have been there. Once when I was knitting in public, I had a "stud" (loosely used term) ask me if I was a fag. I looked up at him and replied, "No, I am a dentist. What's your position?" I've had too many years of listening to a screaming drill to be able to understand his muttering as he slunk away. In DC, your position is everything! I guess I must have "topped" him!

2manyhobbies's picture

My grandfather, a Southern Baptist minister, used to knit socks, and surprisingly at least for his generation and origin, that didn't seem to raise any eyebrows ... maybe it was because the family was from dirt-poor roots, and it was seen as more of a practical thing.

I think Yarn Guy is probably right, that dissing your knitting to his homeys was a cheap way for this guy to bolster is own masculinity, presumably at the expense of someone he'd never see again. I think it was way cool that you stood up to him and maybe challenged some of his preconceptions a bit.

Personally, I never get any comments about knitting. Maybe they're distracted by the pink boa?

Buck Strong's picture

Thanks for all of the support guys. My sociologist sister is trying to attach some sexual meaning to the incident since the men were holding their dicks when the comment was made. I love my sister to death but sometimes she will over analyze things just a bit.

To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring-it was peace.
~Milan Kundera

To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring-it was peace.
~Milan Kundera