I had an okay day today flying back home from Houston. I was up front in first class; so, I had lots of room and free booze. Unfortunately, I had to take three flights to get back home, Houston to Dallas, Dallas to Denver and Denver to Portland. The latter flight was the longest. I settled in with my gin and tonic and started knitting. I totally freaked out the old guy next to me but what the f*&k, who cares. When we landed in Portland, I raced to the bathroom. There I was, dick in hand, relieving myself when my seat mate and his two buddies step up to the urinal next to me. One of them says "Did you see the guy knitting next to me?" and they all start laughing. Well, I'm no pussy cowboy. I spoke up. "That was me!" There they stood, dicks in hand saying nothing. Then I said, "Issues?" The old guy next to me said, "No issues here." It was amazing how quiet that bathroom got. I went and washed my hands; then stood there watching them wash theirs. They didn't say a word. Next, I went to get my luggage and stood an the bottom of the escalator and watched them come down. They didn't look at me or even say a word. They beat it to the closest door. I regret not telling them that I used to break horses for a living and that I can do a hundred push-ups..."would you like to step outside?"
Some how, I don't think they will think it's so funny next time.
Stupid Mother F&*kers