(This is a repost from my blog. If you've already read it, my apologies! But, I am kicking everything up a notch and spreading the word the best I can). OH! I hope you fellas have a wonderful time at the retreat. I REALLY wish I could have joined you!!!!
So, I’m tired of living at the edges of life, hopping around it, temporarily resting in it. I’m anxious to be involved, anxious to be a part of it. Its aggressive, its ambitious, but I think its totally possible.
I’m gonna crank out bears like CRAZY over the next few days, selling and pushy their furry little butts so that I can finally rise up and have the money for a deposit for my own apartment, no longer crashing here and there until the next thing happens. I’ll have rent, money for an electric hook up, internet hook up (where would my business be without access to the internet?), yarn, boxes and postage for a month, a chair to sit in (I’m so tired of sitting for 10 hours a day cross legged on the floor knitting-my scrawny back is SHOT), a bed to sleep in (yes, I sleep on the floor), food for Mario and myself for 2 months, money tossed into the bank for an emergency (because they DO happen and can wipe you out in no time), utensils to cook with, my own fork to eat with, a table to sit at when I eat, a blanket for the upcoming season (yes, I could crochet one, but that would take me away from the Bear A Thon!), a proper kitchen to cut a tomato in (I love vegetables. Although I’m not a vegetarian, I crave vegetables so much more than meat-I’d eat a salad every day if it were possible).
I want to be a thriving, productive, choice man of society and business with his role models being respectability and understanding. I don’t want to have to keep looking, searching, hunting my way back into the world, I want to leap in and dive head first, make a big splash, and coat those who are nearby with love and laughter. I can do this. I want to do this. I want to finally be able to say, “I’m here….WE DID IT!”
I’ll no longer be a poor guy knitting teddy bears for his supper and shelter. I’ll be a legitimate, bonafide, for REALS business.
Buy a bear! And if you already have, buy another and give it to charity. There are little ones out there who could use something to hug. If you don’t know of a charity, buy one for a friend who could use a pick me up. And if you don’t have a friend who could use a pick me up, then buy one for your enemies and make peace.
I have all ideas, as the days go by, that I can be held to a high standard, that people will look on me as an example. “Do you see what happens when you rest your hope in the light? You could keep frowning downward, or you can look up….to the light.”
The light has been shining on me so brightly. Friends I’ve never met, and friends I’ve come to adore all shine brightly on me. So instead of clutching from this month to that with a clenched fist of fear, I’m going back to cross legged on the floor, back straight, eyes closed, hands held together softly in my lap, handing myself to the universe, manifesting love and positive energy out of these knitting needles of mine, off these long spidery fingers of mine.
Spread the word! Tell everyone! I’m already up at 5am! I can push out THREE to FOUR bears a day to make this happen!
Let’s do it! Here’s to The Bear A Thon!