Female Hostility?

Ok, is it just me or are the women on other knitting related sites a bit hostile towards male knitters?

Do they feel that we are somehow encroaching on their turf? What gives?

MMario's picture

Mason - don't take it personally - many of the sites and lists tend to be hostile; period.

No, let me re-phrase that. There are some hostile people on many of the lists and sites. It seems like there is *someone* (or several someones) prominant in each one that tends to be paranoid, easily offended, sarcastic, etc. Sorta like life in general. Unfortenately these people also seem to be quite willing to step forward and preach at one and all.

Ignore them. At least online you can use a delete button.

MMario - I don't live in the 21st Century - but I sometimes play a character who does.

MMario - I'm not divorced from reality - we're having a trial separation

Tallguy's picture

Yes, you will find many sites and groups that do not welcome men as knitters. Too bad --- their loss!

Yes, agreed.. just ignore them. You DON'T have to join them... there are many other sites and groups that are much nicer and friendlier.

I have found that many of the groups which are predominately female tend to have a lot of chatter going on! So much so that I have left them. They do like to discuss all sorts of things I have no interest in, but they like it, so I leave them to it. On some men's knitting groups, there sometimes is very little visible activity at all. The silence is only broken when there is a question. Just a different feeling, in general.

Find the place that is comfortable to you; that applies to shops as well.

I've had the opposite reaction to be honest with you in terms of online activity. Very supportive.

Sometimes in real-life you can sense that some ladies feel awkward about it because they're not expecting male company in their otherwise female group. Some more mature women or shy ones have difficulty with that because it's outside their thinking and they're a bit phased at first. The ladies at my S'n B are lovely and are used to me now.

boyforpele13's picture

i only had one bad experience with a local group and in retrospect, it was entirely my fault and the ladies are wonderful. i have found that at *some* LYSs, it takes a little more time to warm up to the employees/owners, but once I do, it's been smooth sailing. I'm sorry you're experiencing this, though, it makes for a bad time. :(

[URL="http://www.deafdogs.org"]Share Your Life With a Deaf Dog![/URL]

Well the factof the matter is we all do something outside of the standard set of gender stereotypes in western culture, and that often illicits a strong reaction.
I've found in the place of aggression a lot of patronization, probably because of my age.


MMario's picture

It's been "outside of the standard gender sterotypes" for less then two full generations.

MMario - Can anybody tell me what year it is?

MMario - I'm not divorced from reality - we're having a trial separation


I'm a girl on a bloke site - so I hope I don't get the same treatment. Just want to apologise on behalf of my gender! Why is there a taboo about blokes knitting anyway I don't get it?

frazom's picture

I haven't meet a lot of knitters but i have noticed that when i go to buy some yarn and i need some help, i use to ask the first person i see and usually it happens to be a woman! so they see me like if i'm doing something wrong, but i don't really care, i like knitting and i won't stop just because they think a man knitting is wrong jajaja

mountainrunner's picture

I've found something similar when I returned to the yarn shop where I bought my first set of needles and the yarn for the scarf I'm knitting. The sales clerk was very helpful and supportive, and I had asked her for some advice about the different methods of casting on. She was great - however another woman at the counter was watching me attempt the method the clerk had shown me and freaked out a bit when I made a mistake! I looked at her and thought to myself, she can't be knitting nearly enough to be that high-strung! :-)

I'm actually not sure if this had anything to do with me being male - it is possible I could have misread it. In any case, I do know what you mean about some of the websites out there. It's too bad, but it isn't that different from the way some women get treated when they want to become auto mechanics or welders. I think stereotypes of any kind are there to be challenged!

I'm fortunate that I have female friends who are supportive. Personally I think they have a hidden agenda - i.e. they're looking forward to some warm and toasty birthday and Christmas gifts!

scottly's picture

Sometimes I find the lys clerks a bit uppity but I have no idea if its because I'm a guy or not although I see them being very attentive to their womem patrons. My current lys is a different story - I'm very comfortable there and get tons of attention.

I wish I were knitting now.

ffarff's picture

I have a lot of women knitters and yarn shop owners saying "oh how sweet!" in a really patronising way. as if they are saying "oh look at the monkey knitting! Aren't they just the funniest creatures?!"

Maybe in sites or knitting groups they think we're using some sort of creative way to pick up! ...which wouldnt be so bad to find a woman who doesnt nag about the rhythmic elbowing and the occasional swear as your knitting on the couch.

Donagh's picture

I'm a brown guy who knits in a kilt, so I get a lot of looks. Most of the lady-knitters I meet think it's the greatest thing since sliced bread that a young adult male knits, but often in that amused, patronizing way. I've also been lectured about how I should come to terms with my sexuality, because apparently "only gay guys and women knit" is an ummutable law of the universe. In my experience the internet has been an oasis of acceptance, but then i'm only on Ravelry and the Knitty coffeeshop other than this place, so I haven't had much of a sampling.

Doing this would be better with tweed.