Here is my sales pitch for this project:
"This dog bed was an exercise in patience, pain management (on multiple fronts), and persistence. Having learned a lot about my thresholds and limits in all three of those areas, I have ultimately decided I would sooner shoot myself in the face than knit one of these again.
"Made with a delightful blend of sexy acrylic boucle and luscious nylon UNfun fur, this dog bed features multiple pillows as inserts created by hand to prevent "poly-fil leakage" during handwashings.
"Watch in delight and joy as your dog immediately leaps out of your newly crafted bed in favor of an older, frayed, beat-up dog bed purchased from a store by relatives of your significant other some two years ago. Smile with glee to see your beautiful dog finally fall asleep in the bed you have made her only after removing all other possible sleeping locations from the vicinity. Revel in the callouses and blisters that the insanely difficult knitting caused. You'll never forget the pleasure of knitting with high-grade acrylic boucle again. In fact, you're SURE to go buy the local craft store out of every last skein!
"Enjoy the fruits of your labor as you bask in the glow, and take in the delightful odor, of acrylic boucle, nylon UNfun fur, and shotty DPN craftsmanship going up in flames. Laugh yourself all the way to a big bottle of liquor. At least when they find you roaming around town naked later that night, your dog will be at home, safe and sound, sleeping snugly in her soft, comfortable, homey new...kennel.