More socks?

I don't know what is going on in my life right now, so many things are not going well. With Jason1978, I can only hope. For the several in my life that have left us, including now Frankie Manning and a family friend, I have little that I can say. I will have two people in Iraq, and another in basic training My kind of depression involves stopping doing things for myself, the things that I need to do, like classwork, cleaning, sleep, and doing instead things for others. My normal therapy is singing, knitting and dancing, but recently I have not been singing (my choir class conflicts with the class I need to graduate,) I have not been dancing much (though we restarted the Argentine Tango group which is amazingly fun,) and I have not knit more than one row in almost two weeks. I ripped out over a thousand stitches from the socks I am making, and barely have them back on the needles. I have managed to move a friend new house as well as stain, varnish and assemble a spinning wheel for them, but haven't even looked at starting the papers that I have due. I have several women, whom I have no interest in (too many complications or not my type or not my age range or too many kids) that are using up my time and my sanity, as some kind of replacement man in their life. This is my kind of penance, I do for others the things that kill me to help them with. Out of this though, soon I will get back to knitting and will hopefully produce a beautiful pair of socks.


QueerJoe's picture us all a favor...take care of yourSELF. Running yourself ragged is going to help no one in the long run...but you know that.

I do have to say also...much less importantly...that your knitting is exquisite. I will love seeing how your socks turn out.

MMario's picture

Speaking from experience -

*MAKE* yourself take some "me" time - block out some time where you can load up the ipod with some music, work a few rows of knitting or even just sit alone and decompress.

If you burn out it takes a long, long, long, long, long, long time to come back.

MMario - I'm not divorced from reality - we're having a trial separation

Kilted Knitter's picture

Andrew.....having just gone through a bought of this same type of thing you are going through right now, I have to agree with MMario and QueerJoe, you need to do something for you, if you can't take care of yourself, then how are you going to help others. You know what makes you happy, breath and do some singing in the car or whatever it takes. You will get through this, and know that we are here to help you get through this. I myself have a pair of socks just on the needles also, although they are not as beautiful as yours. LIke MMarios said burn out takes a loooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg time to come back from.
I pray you health and happiness, most of all take care of yourself first. Not always the easiest path to walk down.

steve kadel's picture

listen to your sage knitters. they are wise.

we put birds on things

etramblings's picture

I am in total agreement with the two gentleman who commented before me! I have always looked forward to see what phenomenal project you have posted. And the whole sock thing, yeah.... lets just say I am having some "motivational issues"; even though I am going to SockSummit 2009, I have yet to finish the very first sock of my very first pair. :sigh: They just don't call me like hats and other fun things do. Not that socks aren't fun! I enjoy them while I am knitting them... it's just... they're not all that exciting for me. (Now my sock-obsessed friends will ostricize me. lol) Anyway. What I am trying to say Andrew is that as you come back into your own I am really excited to see your socks' progression! The beautiful work you create does inspire me!

Viva Andrew and Viva Socks!

NonStopAndrew's picture

I thank all of you for the advice, and I will attempt to take it. As with all changes it will probably be hard, but I will attempt. I have the decades of catholic guilt to deal with, so it may be VERY difficult.

MMario's picture

Hmmmmmm, Would it help to consider pampering yourself penance for the sin of pride thinking you could "do it all, alone"?

MMario - I'm not divorced from reality - we're having a trial separation

QueerJoe's picture

I love that idea. For your penance, my son, you must say three Hail Mary's and look into the mirror at least three times a day and say "I love you" with sincerity. You must also finish those lovely socks before your next confession. Now say an act of contrition.

Joe-in Wyoming's picture

Amen to that. That's why I am not a Catholic and glad that my parents never had me confirmed as one. It's been hard enough learning to accept praise from others and realize that I deserved it. Even so, I still struggle to graciously accept the compliments. And take time for myself, etc. Love the socks, BTW. May have to try that twisted stitch decoration myself. Take care and best wishes. -- Books, knitting, cats, fountain pens...Life is Good.

Books, knitting, cats, fountain pens...Life is Good.

NonStopAndrew's picture

Yeah...that whole pride thing is a killer. I have done many things in my life that I should be very proud of, but accepting praise or compliments is very hard for me.

crmartin's picture

I agree with what everyone else has said and really can't add anything else to it, take care of yourself.