There must be something in the water!?!

Well, they say misery loves company! I, too, have been going through a SEVERE rough patch! It started back in early March when my Spondilitis started to flare up. It actually got to the point that I had to go on medical leave from the hospital (I work as an ICU nurse in New Orleans) which greatly lowered my morale. Compounding the situation was flaring tensions at home with my partner and I. Confining my "type A" personality to home with quasi bed rest is pretty much the equivalent of torture to say the least. Knitting did help, but even my fiber obsession could only squelch the fires of frustration and angst for short, intermittent spurts; besides, the pain and immobility does effect my hands after a while. I was a bear (grumpy, not sexy)! Unfortunately, my illness served to bring some of my and Tracy's relationship shortcomings to the surface and I felt like I wasn't getting the support I needed on an emotional level. In short, it was a large role reversal for us. While Tracy's health isn't a factor, I'm usually the one taking care of things...most things actually--including him. I decided to seek some sanctuary, and much needed support, at my parent's home in up-state Louisiana and got a little present on the evening of my arrival--a kidney stone! The kidney stone is now out and sadly it looks like my partnership with my beloved is on the out's as well! I'm making light of it so I can finish this and not break down in an hour long sob feast for the hundredth time; I'm not even a crier. So there it goes! My heart goes out to everyone in our group who is experiencing pain, illness or sadness. In some ways I don't think I've been sadder in my life! I have posted some completed projects I managed to get out for my nieces and nephew for Easter--a crocheted swimsuit coverup, tunisian embroidered tote, and a knitted satcheled set of juggling balls.

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PhilNmtl's picture

I'm really sorry to hear that you have been going through all of this. It sounds like a snowball with one bit fueling the next. I'm glad that you have been able to name it here and know that a lot of us on here read this stuff and do care about what is happening with our fellow knitters. When I am at my best, I knit and pray at the same time. I will be thinking of you in that space while you live your way through this.
There have been some really joyous celebrations on the site recently, but the flip side of it is also true - there has been a tremendous amount of pain and sadness. I continue to be grateful that this is a site where this kind of real life stuff can be named, along with the best patterns and fibers that we have found recently. - Phil

ksmarguy's picture

As Phil said, this is a site where we can share real life stuff. Eric and I posted about our getting together, now let us share in your trials and help lighten the burden if we can. We talked about your post and our hearts collectively go out to you...twice the love and support for the price of one.

An illness is never easy, and even more trying when the support you need is not there. Keep knitting and know that all your brothers on Men Who Knit are thinking of you and including you in our prayers. Keep knitting, keep creating, keep your head up and we will be there for you when you need us.

Lots of love,

Brad and Eric

albert's picture

Sounds like time to step back and take a deep breath.

QueerJoe's picture

Hey Mill...It's quite amazing the amount of feelings I've grown to have for this group of guys, so even though life's been rough, I was glad that you could write to tell us.

Someone once told me something helpful, so I'll pass it on. It won't always be like this.

And I can only hope it's sooner that things get better for you.

Sending virtual hugs your way...wish they could be real.

crmartin's picture

{{{{{{Millard}}}}}}. Sending good wishes and good karma that things will soon be better.

Your projects are all beautiful, the bag is especially beautiful.



scottly's picture

Hey Dude, I'm a 12 stepper from way back and if AA has taught me anything, it's to turn it over to that power greater then yourself. There is a plan and it really does have all of our best interests at heart and as Joe says - this too shall pass. Do not despair and find those things you can be thankful for.

By the way - love the juggling balls!!


chipsir's picture

Ah Millard!!!!! Here is another big cyber Hug, there are never to many of those. Yes this site is more than just a MWK place it is where we have become fond of a lot of people and feel we can reach out and share our troubles and our happiness. I went through a very bad batch a few years ago and I really wish I had had this site and the support it offers. Out of that situation came some good advice, "You are travelling through fire, it burns it hurts it seems the pain is endless but this will pass and you will come out of the fire on the other side." I hope you get through to the other side quickly and with as little pain as possible. Again big Hugzzzzzzzzzzz to you.

rjcb3's picture

BIG ((((((HUGS)))))) to you too!

Don't think anything of it; we ALL need a good cry every once in a while.

Thoughts and prayers for you, too.


Joe-in Wyoming's picture

Adding my thoughts and best wishes to all the others. Several other comments said it so much better than I can. When this website pops up and says "community" it ought to be capitalized because that is exactly what we are. Take care and know that we love you, brother. -- Books, knitting, cats, fountain pens...Life is Good.

Books, knitting, cats, fountain pens...Life is Good.

steve kadel's picture

anyone who can make what you make, and survive what you survive, will be blessed with all the love you can handle. just sometimes the universe likes us to take a pause

we put birds on things

Kerry's picture

Big hugs Mill, life has certainly handed you some nasty stuff lately. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Bill's picture

Millard...wish I could be there to give you a big hug...

mrossnyc's picture

I hope you are feeling better physically and if you aren't back to work yet, you will be soon. Sorry to hear about your relationship as well. I think everyone has already expressed great wisdom for you and all I can say is that you're in my thoughts to get through all of this a quickly as possible and with minimal emotional scars. Big hugs from me as well!

Your work is BEAUTIFUL!!! Thanks for sharing the pics of these wonderful projects.

Take care and keep creating beautiful things for people in your world.