Dear Men Who Knit Diary:

Today, I was broadsided by a snot-nosed idiot on the subway as I knitted up the sleeve on the sweater I'm currently working on. He stood angled in front of me, turned his head, sneered, looked down his nose and said,"Ain't that a girly thang you do?"

As the collective breath was inhaled by twenty-five or so fellow travelers in earshot, I stopped knitting. I put my work down, stood up from my seat, massed as much bulk as humanly possible on my 230-pound frame, and got two inches from his nose. Using the deepest epiglottal roll I could muster, I thundered in the loudest stage whisper for all in the car to hear:

"No, it's not girly. I do it so my anti-violence psychotropic drugs kick in. Wanna help?"

The doors of the subway opened, the jerk left the ride clearly earlier than he intended, the crowd applauded, I sat down and continued to knit.

The ride and the smiles thereafter were quite pleasant.


vsidart's picture


albert's picture

I'm thinking you've left permanent psychological scars. Maybe require a new ruberic in the textbooks: "Knitterphobia".

Aaronknits's picture


wesley's picture


I said to the almond tree, "Sister, speak to me of God", and the tree blossomed.

gryffin2007's picture

Thank goodness for you!

Thomasknits's picture

::Applauds:: That is the best story I've heard in a while.


reknotted's picture


sonics's picture

Ive heard about men getting razzed about knitting in public. Ive never had anything bad like this happen.

Im glad you took care of him like that. If it was me I'd do the same thing!

Good for you!

I have found that knitting is the only thing that will make the voices shut up.

Tallguy's picture

"Why are you knitting?"

I learned to knit in prison.

I knit so I do not kill people

may I remind you that I have two sharp pointy sticks?

two words... madame deFarge

so, I play with string....

everyone needs more sox

cleverly disguised Vampire killing kit

You have two eyes. I have two needles. Do the math.

Knit fast, die warm.

It takes balls to knit

Shut up, I'm counting

Knitting is not just for Grandmothers

Friends don’t let friends knit drunk.

Cooking and cleaning are for people that haven’t discovered knitting yet.

1. Yes, I am knitting.
2. No, it’s not crocheting.
3. No, it doesn’t require a lot of patience.
4. Yes, you could do it. Really. Want to learn?
5. Yes, I know your can buy sweaters, socks, etc. for less money. What’s the fun in that?
6. Yes, I’m sure you grandmother did knit for you. That’s nice.
7. Well, yes, it does require some concentration, depending on the pattern. So could you just shut up and let me knit now? Thanks.

If I knit fast enough, does that count as aerobics?

Stop reading my shirt and look at my socks.


Mnjack's picture

Thanks for the chuckle...I'll try to remember some of these lines.

Craig's picture

I think what you did was truely amazing and brave

Have been knitting for years. I knit continually then will try another craft, but will return to the needles.

Mnjack's picture

Fortunately, I have never had open comments or actions. I know there was a couple on a plane a few weeks ago that kept snickering but they never did anything openly. Good for you.... I'm not sure I would have been so brave, but you are big and strong. We need more knitters like you.

eyedoc's picture

I once had a run-in with a nurse a couple years ago!!! Yeah, I know....not a thug on a subway but still! I was sitting with my partner's grandmother in her nursing home not long before she died. She came in the room while I was working on a scarf for a Christmas gift. She asked what I was doing. What did she think I was doing, I wondered. I told her what I was doing. Her response..."So you're just playing?" My response... "Umm, no. I'm just knitting." She rolled her eyes and left.

mrossnyc's picture

Wish I had been there!

MMario's picture

I want to get a t-shirt that says:

Knitting - a condition of my parole.

MMario - I'm not divorced from reality - we're having a trial separation

Andy's picture

On ya!

Nashrunner's picture

This story is freakin' priceless, as they say. If I could only have been a fly on the wall. I will bet that guy got off the subway because, as we say here in the south, he'd done had a crap hemorrhage. Good for you. We like your style and appreciate you manner, very much. Strong enough to knit, man enough to purl!

VTandPTguy's picture

Metropolitan Diaries: You should submit this fabulous story to the New Yorker Magazine to run in their Metropolitan Diaries section. A CLASSIC New York Story!

Joe-in Wyoming's picture

Way to go, Mark!! I've never had any really negative experiences while knitting in public. When in NY I didn't take it on the subway as I knew I'd be getting on and off frequently. (Or was with friends.) Still, that was a great response. -- Books, knitting, cats, fountain pens...Life is Good.

Books, knitting, cats, fountain pens...Life is Good.

Kerry's picture

Good for you Mark...let's hope he thinks twice about making comments like that again.

I mentioned this story to a few friends out last night - you were a hero to everyone in earshot. People think it's their god-given right to rail on everyone around them just for living their lives; thanks for reminding at least one person that there are consequences for being a jerk!

RickeScott's picture

You are my hero!