Taking my direct marketing skills to the streets, my buds from The Point were offering their wares at a recent street festival crafts fair in Greenwich Village two weeks ago. I noticed that the traffic to their table was a bit...tired. A little S&M will liven up this jaded and I've-seen-it-all crowd of native New Yorkers.
I lept into action and provided the smug crowd with a moving display of Swift and Muzzler on my willing, tender and suggestible street yarns. They cried out for bondage.
The crowd was swayed by my dexterous use of swift and muzzler. Luckily for me and them, I had just accessed 1400 yards of wool and linen yarns. They were in danger of uncontrolled chaos, so I hastened to submit them to the swift.
Using a circular motion hitherto unknown in Greenwich Village, but destined to be recorded in the annals of S&M historical accounts of our era, I wound the virgins into sadder but wiser spirals, ignoring their wimpers.
"Why?", you plead bitterly, fearing the worst. "Because," I intone with a dark and brooding stance, "If I ignore them, they will be more pliable to my will for what's to come. Every knitter knows the danger of un-collared skeins."
Sales jumped as the swift lashed my sweet wards. All smiled as the stack of They Who Must Obey grew in size. Using my ever-ready leather ties, now they were controlled.
I love the marketplace!